


dream in blue

by lunartotems



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Blood, F/M, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-26
Updated: 2020-04-29
Packaged: 2020-10-28 12:36:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 16,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20778692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunartotems/pseuds/lunartotems
Summary: An AU where Byleth dies in Dimitri’s arms. A request. A plea. A lifetime of regrets where Dimitri remembers what happened in the past while Byleth doesn’t





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First and foremost, thank you for tolerating my late night ramblings and yelling about this missmillennium for a while. sorry not sorry for making you cry but i’ll send you floofy headcanons and a life alert because dimitri fire emblem pls notice me. this fic is for you.
> 
> Secondly, this was heavily inspired by jingacorn’s (@jingacorn - twitter) dimileth reincarnation au.

_ Fhirdiad’s winters were cold, always so, so cold. The fresh snow was silver and white, tainted with bright red blood. Dimitri looked broken, as tears streamed down from his eyes. “No. No. No.” The King sobbed as he cradled his wounded queen close to his breast. “Please!” He said. “Please don’t go. Don’t leave me!” Byleth was always warm, so, so warm like the first kiss of sunlight when the sun rises; now that warmth was quickly fading, slipping through his fingers like sand in an hourglass. _

_ “Someone! Get a healer or a chirurgeon!” Dimitri roared to his soldiers. _

_ “A-at once Your Majesty!” One soldier sputtered before rushing to where the healers were. _

_ “Dima,” Byleth rasped weakly as she reached out for his cheek. “it’s okay.” She smiled when Dimitri gently guided her hand to where she intended to go. “Don’t be afraid.” _

_ “No. No. I refuse.” Dimitri sobbed. “No. I don’t want you to become one of them.” He pressed his nose to her hair, the pain in his chest began to swell like a dagger sinking inside his skin. He could bear the pain of a blade, losing her forever would be the death of him. _

_ “I… will not be one of your regrets.” His sweet wife said. “I will not torment your dreams. I will instead sing you to sleep… if the voices become too loud. My voice… will be… louder. I prom...ise.” _

_ His voice croaked and his throat dry. Words escape him. Where was the healer? Warm blood covered his hand. His hands were stained red again. The voices grew loud in his head like a ferocious storm. You could not protect her. You killed her. You killed her. You monster, you killed your own wife. You killed your queen and the mother of your child. _

_ “I’m… I’m sorry.” Dimitri croaked. “I’m sorry…” _

_ Byleth weakly traced the corner of his face with a finger. “I…,” She rasped as her breaths become staggered. _

_ “If… if there’s another.. life,” His queen softly whispered. “A next life.” Dimitri’s eyes widened, tears flowing continuously; her warmth slowly fading, “Save your breath—” A request. _

_“Will you love me again?” A plea._

_ The hand on his cheek went limp and her eyes became glossy. “Beloved?” Dimitri stifled a sob and he heaved a breath. The walls broke and he let out a heartbreaking cry hoping the goddess and saints would hear his heart ache, praying for a miracle that she would live. His grief weighed him down like the world was once again on his shoulders. Dimitri peppered her face with kisses, a childish fantasy that he had that he would wake a sleeping princess from a curse; he was a prince, a king— why wouldn’t she wake from death’s grasp? _

_ “Yes.” Dimitri finally replied to her plea. “I will love you again and again for a thousand lifetimes.” _

“...ddyd.”

He remembers the funeral march from the castle to the cathedral. The mournful cries of his subjects grieving for their young queen. Dorothea and the choir sang a woeful dirge during the wake. The cold rain. The grey sky. Their son, still small and full of innocence asked why his mother was being buried; he did not have the heart (his heart was already gone, covered in dirt, in box six feet under) to tell that she was dead. The scent of lilies made him sick because it was a reminder of that his beloved was gone forever.

“Profe…”

He wore black ever since his queen’s death. Daily. Religiously. Texts written about his former life told that he entered a life of mourning and grief where he rarely made public appearances, never stepped out of Fhirdiad and entered a life of seclusion, only allowing a select few to see his presence. Dimitri was still king but he let his vassals and trusted peers to appear in his stead. He helped his—their—son to know what to expect when it was his turn to ascend the throne. He found solace on gardening and fishing, some of her hobbies but it was not the same without her. The happiness in his life became an endless void and a mournful cry.

Another book he found about his past self that he succumbed to illness. Others say and most people wrote that King Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd, the Savior King of Fódlan and the Lord High Commander of the Church of Seiros died of a broken heart because of his lifetime of grieving; and was buried next to his dear, beloved wife. At least, in that lifetime.

“Professor Blaiddyd.” A feminine voice snapped him out of his brooding stupor. A very familiar voice.

  


What.

“Are you alright?” The familiar voice said again.

“Yes, I am.” He said waving a hand dismissively. His head throbbed like it was being struck by a hammer. Again, the memories of the past plagued him. “Apologies,” Dimitri said eyes focused on his desk and the paper in front of him. “... I was just lost in thought.”

He heard a laugh which sounded ever so familiar. His cerulean eyes locked on the figure in his faculty office, a young woman with deep, evergreen hair and eyes colored like amethysts. Dimitri knew who it was. Her, she seemed she does not remember him. 

In another lifetime, many moons ago, it was the opposite. He was a student at Garegg Mach, she was the mercenary-turned professor whom he met fending off bandits. He thought of her as the sun and he, the moon who graced in her orbit—two figures who cannot share the same sky; she did remind him that the sun willingly shares its light to the moon so the world could appreciate its beauty and wonder. He mistrusted her due to her past but soon he longed, pined, yearned for her when he got to know her better; a boyish crush turned into a one-sided romance the moment she smiled at him for the first time.

“Your essay,” Dimitri stated. “I took a look at it.” He scanned the paper again critically, back and forth from page to page. “Despite some minor mistakes, it looks good. Great, even.” He praised. “Wonderful job as always, Byleth.”

Byleth smiled and scratched the back of her neck. Dimitri straightened himself from his chair handed back the paper to the young woman. “Thank you, Professor Blaiddyd.” She said giddily. “You did help a teeny bit though.” The young woman added with a melodic laugh.

He couldn’t help but snort and her words made his heart bloom and flutter. “I was glad to be of assistance.” 

“Are you married, Professor?” Byleth asked quizzically, eyes focused on the ring on his left finger. “It’s beautiful.”

Dimitri blinked taking notice of her gaze at the ring. He rubbed his hand out of habit, when he misses her, when his heart cries, he felt the ring burn. She was so close yet so far. She was at arms length but why won’t she remember. “Was.” Dimitri sighed not meeting her gaze. “Was married.” He added with sadness in his voice.

Byleth frowned and sputtered out, “I’m sorry. I didn’t know. You don’t talk much about your personal life… I didn’t mean to offend.”

“No need to apologize. I’m sure it wasn’t intentional.” Dimitri assured.

I’m here. My heart is crying for you, my light, my beloved. Please remember me...

“I’m sure they were wonderful.”

“She is.” He whispered. “She really is.”

Byleth smiled, “I wish if I have a special someone, they’ll be like you—devoted and charming.” Then she laughed. Oh her smile was still lovely and mesmerizing just like before and ever and always. “Your wife must’ve been the luckiest woman to marry you. You’re kind and honest. You’re devoted to her even though she's gone—I appreciate that.”

It’s the opposite. I was lucky. It was dumb luck she chose me. Despite what I did and done, she chose me.

“I don’t know if I should be offended or be flattered about that, Miss Eisner.” He joked.

She laughed again and his heart bloomed. Oh how he would move mountains to hear his beloved laugh and see her smile once more. “That’s really up to you, Professor.” Byleth replied.

Byleth rose from her seat and clutched the paper close. “I better get going, Professor.” She mused, tucking her hair behind her ears. “Have a good weekend!” She added as she smiled while waving goodbye before she made her way out of the office.

Dimitri gave her a small smile as she left. The blooming love he had felt earlier suddenly faded, it turned into ache that tightened around his chest. The weight of the ring band on his hand grew. He leaned back against his chair, hearing an audible creak. His eyes fixed on the ceiling fan above him and he relished the quiet. “Your smile is still mesmerizing.” He thought out loud.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok, i know its confusing—kinda that i go back and forth with past and present. I’ll try my best to clarify things.
> 
> i’ve also thought that dimitri mirrored what queen victoria did after albert’s death when she went to a deep state of mourning. 
> 
> next chapter will be sort of in Byleth’s perspective.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for the kudos and the support.
> 
> i'm sorry if the tone of this chapter is a little bit different from the previous one. i really try to mirror what was going on in game but opposites... with a lot more pining and confusion.
> 
> also, thank you "crush" by mandy moore for inspiring the first half then "sos (overboard) by joseph and "the mess we're in" by the kite string tangle for the later.

Sometimes Byleth dreams that she was in a sea of blue flowers dancing along the wind beneath a dark, star-studded sky. She was alone but took comfort at the seemingly endless field of corn flowers and forget-me-nots but there was a figure from a distance: a boy with blond hair looking up to the sky dressed in winter clothing. When she steps closer, the boy turns to an adolescent dressed in a black uniform with a beautiful blue cape holding a bloody lance still he was looking up to the abyss above but she swore she heard a sob. She stepped close again, the youth turns to a man with the same blond hair, dressed in black riding pants and a blue tunic holding a child tenderly with the same mop of blond hair, dressed in a white tunic. “Wait.” Byleth cried out in her dream, reaching out her hand. “Wait. Who are you?”

The man and the child turned their heads but when she was ready to meet their gaze they both disappeared, turning into soft blue petals blown by the breeze.

She wakes up from her sleep. Confused. The same dream haunted her for weeks on end. It was always the same outcome: a boy, a youth, and a man holding a child that disappears before she reaches them. She cannot put a face since he was not facing her at all times, they have to be the same person, right? Her head throbs with a sharp pain but her gaze darts to her phone and a shrill sound came out of her lips—-

“Ah, shit. I’m late for work!”

Byleth wondered who was that blond figure was. What was his story? Why was he plaguing her dreams? She believed in fate and circumstance but this man must be telling her something. Why him? Who is he really? He really needs to stop becoming petals when she gets close—she wants to see his face. Maybe even touch his cheek.

Who was this mystery blond? A former lover from a past life? Like who would believe that bullshit. A future lover? Again, bullshit. 

There was really no time to mull over dreams or superficial guys in dreams. She feared Dorothea’s wrath for oversleeping again for the third time this month about her dreams and nightmares. On the back of her head, the blond seemed—familiar but she cannot put a word, a name, or even sense to it. Her heart beats at the thought of the mystery man but her heart ached as well since she cannot seem to understand what he was doing inside her head.

Byleth arrived at work with barely enough time to spare. She quickly grabbed her apron and fixed her hair in front of a mirror. Her makeup was a mess and oh goodness, was that dried up drool?

“Here I thought I was going to man the shop alone today.” Dorothea’s voice interrupted Byleth’s silence. “Is your blond prince charming bothering your dreams again?” 

Byleth shot her a glare and the brunette woman grinned victoriously because she was right. “You really ought to find that dreamboat of yours, darling.” Dorothea teased. “Or he’ll be just in your dreams and not in your arms.”

“Dorothea!” Byleth exclaimed, cheeks flushed red in embarrassment.

The other woman chuckles, “I’m teasing. Geeze, you don’t need to get all your feathers ruffled.”

Byleth gave a scoff making her way behind the counter and busied herself with work, and trying her best not to think about Dorothea’s teasing or her dream last night for that matter. She really tried not be distracted, surely there were a lot of blonds in the continent, and the guy in her dreams did not have a face. So it could be any one with a mop of blond hair… just like Professor Blai—

No. No. No.

Goddess. No.

Sure. The guy was handsome for that matter and charming to boot. His office hours are always booked for some odd reason but whenever she does talk to him, she feels at ease like they somehow knew each other but they just met a few semesters prior. There was an air of mystery around him as if he were hiding something but Byleth didn’t want to pry on someone else’s personal life. Besides, he was still grieving about his late wife.

And speak of the Devil, he comes.

She didn’t recognize him with the round frame glasses that complimented his face. Byleth thought seeing him not wearing suits or dress shirts and slacks seem too alien since she never saw her professor outside of class up until now and he did look younger with his clothing choice for the day which was oddly satisfying for her. Professor Blaiddyd was wearing a white wide long-sleeved bateau shirt that showed off his clavicles, black skinny jeans, and boots. His hair tied back in that neat ponytail that he does but was Professor Blaiddyd always this fine? 

She knew him handsome with those broad shoulders and toned arms. She could get lost in those ocean eyes of his if she wanted to. Gods. Was she really… really not being honest with herself and was crushing on her cute professor? 

“Oh, Byleth,” Dimitri chirped. “I didn’t know you work here.”

Byleth was snapped back from her thoughts. She could still feel her cheeks burn and her skin felt prickly from the rush of blood. “Ah, yes.” The young woman sputtered. “Just started a few days ago, sir.”

Dimitri smiled at her warmly and she felt that she’ll burn from blushing too much. He looked so lonely when she met back with him a few weeks ago talking about her dissertation. Seeing him smile like this made her heart swell and the butterflies in her stomach flutter. His smile was mesmerizing like she hadn't seen a smile like that before.

Your smile is beautiful, she almost wanted to say. Her mouth did not move, saying something like that to a man of his stature would be too forward. She was still his student after all.

“What can I get for you?” Byleth asked trying to ease the tension between them. The blond blinked and rubbed the back of his neck as he looked at the menu, “A mocha breve.” Dimitri replied, “And a cheese pastry, please.” Byleth nods in assent, tallying his total and took payment using his phone. She will never get to know the name of the mystery that is “D.A. Blayddid” as she recalls written in the syllabus. 

She recalls his lectures about Fódlan’s Savior King, they were passionate and with fire as if he were a living breathing book about the man of legend who was a champion of justice after his supposed fell from grace. Sometimes he would ad lib about the Savior King as if he knew him, like a friend or as if he was the man reincarnated before her. Again, his stories and lectures seem… familiar to her as if she was there with him. There was this sharp pain in her heart when Professor Blaiddyd told the class about his queen Byleth who died from a rebellion; ironically she was named after her. She remembers how Professor Blaiddyd was almost at a loss for words that day and had dismissed the class early, a rare gift from the man who stuck to schedules like clockwork.

She told Dorothea about this and her boss told her a tale about fated people, lovers, are connected by an invisible red string. A romantic idea, she thinks but Byleth doesn’t get the connection between her and Professor Blaiddyd. Dorothea continues that no matter how far these fated people are far from each other, or if the circumstances get difficult—the string would never break or sever. She blushed at the thought as she appraised her pinky finger silently, forgetting about the man in front of her for a moment, as she remembered Dorothea’s tale. 

“Byleth,” Dimitri interrupts. “are you okay?”

She was snapped out of her stupor blushing red as a beet. “I’m sorry, I must’ve been daydreaming again.” Byleth replied as she stepped to the direction of the espresso machine. “Take a seat, Professor. I’ll bring your order to your table.” She added with a small smile.

“Thank you kindly.” The blond said politely before walking to a table that was near a window where he made himself comfortable. 

Who was he to her really, other than a professor and maybe a one sided crush or admiration. 

Byleth pads over to his direction with the order in tow. She prayed to a higher power that she wouldn’t embarrass herself in front of a man who she respects and admires. “Your breve and cheese pastry. Can I get you anything else?” She quipped.

“Ah, no. Thank you, Byleth.” Dimitri replied and gave her another smile that left her breathless.

She came home after her shift, tired as ever where she crashed into her bed not even bothering to change clothes. Byleth dreamed again where she ascended a flight of stairs, the scent of blood filled her lungs. She saw death around her, armored soldiers lying dead with ghastly expressions on their faces. She eventually reaches end of the stairwell, the room was barely lit with the exception of a few beams of sunlight piercing through the cracks. In a dim corner of the room, a huddled figure sat with a lance dripping with blood. Ah. He was the cause of this violence. The figure’s head looked up but he was faceless but the hair, his hair was the same color of yellow like the man from her previous dreams. 

“I should’ve known.” A voice said. Was it the huddled man? “That one day… you’d be haunting me as well.”

The scene shifts. She was surrounded by snow and the flurries were sharp shards that prickled her skin. The sound of steel against steel rang in her ears. Oh goddess. Oh dear goddess, why was there pain in her chest? She looked down and she saw a blade pierced between her ribs. Her body felt heavy but she was caught by a figure, his face obscured with the exception of an eyepatch and a beautiful, robin egg blue eye with tears streaming down like rain. Again, he had a mop of beautiful blond hair. 

“No! Don’t leave me!” A voice cried.

Byleth eyes cracked open and she noticed it was morning already. Her head screamed with a throbbing migraine and eyes wet with tears. What were those dreams? No. They were more like nightmares. She only saw death. 

The young woman groaned as her body felt like lead. Pain in her chest swelled remembering the scent of blood and the blade between her ribs. She sobbed as she tried to forget but she cannot. She can’t as if those nightmares really happened to her somewhere and sometime.

Byleth called Dorothea that she couldn’t go to work today which the other woman was filled with worry. She also sent an email to Professor Blaiddyd that she wouldn’t be able to come to class explaining her situation.

“Damn.” She hissed as she grit her teeth. 

She drifts to sleep again, again visited by another dream. 

Byleth was surrounded by red ribbons that swirled and tangled around her. She noticed a red ribbon tied on her pinky finger; ah Dorothea’s romantic tale was plaguing her head. She followed the ribbon’s trail, slowly and carefully. Byleth did not know where it lead or where she was going but she pressed on regardless. It seemed never ending but she followed the ribbon’s trail with another blond man and the other end of the ribbon was tied to his pinky finger too. Before she could utter a word, she wakes to the sound of a classmate calling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> henlo! with regards to the flower field... cornflowers are usually worn by men in love, if the flowers wilt the love wasn't returned, and if the flower endures the love is returned. forget-me-nots symbolize true love. 
> 
> with regards to the cheese pastry, i can't pass the chance without-uh-referencing dimitri's love of cheese somewhere.
> 
> also dorothea is more of a cameo and acts as byleth's braincell when it comes to her crushing on dimitri. think of the muses for meg in hercules. (you swoon, you sigh, why deny it oh oh)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok thank you for bearing with me since i work full time. this chapter is a bit on the rushed side because life happens! 
> 
> thank you also for my lovely frans missmilennium and chatoyantpenumbra for dealing with my bullshit and helping me out with ideas for this chapter.

Dimitri stirs from his sleep as he reached for Byleth at his side. He smiled as he pulled her close, relished the warmth of her skin against his, and took in the scent of her hair that smelled like roses. Byleth laughed at his ministration and wrapped her hand against his. “Good morning, my beloved.” He greeted her. “Did you sleep well?”

No response.

“Beloved? Are you awake?”

Again there was no response.

“My belo—-”

The harsh beeping from his cell phone made Dimitri groan from his sleep. His nose pressed against a pillow and his body cocooned under a weighted blanket. He carded his hand in that empty space beside him where his beloved slept in his dream felt too real. She was there, he felt her in his arms, now she’s gone.  _ What a cruel dream,  _ Dimitri thought as he slowly rose from the bed and wiped the sleep from his eyes. He gingerly picked up the cell phone, turned off the alarm, and sat there in stunned silence. As much as he wanted to drift back to sleep so that he could dream again, reality hits him when he saw the empty space beside him. Again, his hand carded along the sheets once more and he swallowed hard since it had been lifetimes when his beloved was beside him.

He remembered back when they were just married, his nose against the crook of her neck and his lips pressed gentle kisses against her shoulder. His beloved and him enjoyed sleeping naked, whether they had done much lovemaking from the night before or just relishing the skinship between them to bask in each other’s warmth. Dimitri missed those days almost too much. 

Dimitri does try to forget (try was the key word) and distracts himself from his thoughts through regimen and old habits do die hard. He needn’t not to carry boulders or ran laps wearing heavy armor; instead it was through machines, weights, and a  _ proper  _ exercise routine. He was a man of habit setting his calendar when certain days what exercise routine he would do and when were his breaks.

The dreams became more constant, sometimes the memories too. He often dreamt of the meadow in Fhirdiad where they would go to escape their titles and responsibilities as King and Archbishop; in that meadow far from the castle, far from the city, far from their vassals and bishops—they were just Dimitri and Byleth Blaiddyd, a loving husband and wife who enjoyed each other’s company without a care for the world. In his dream, she was standing in a stream, her hair and dress billowing with the wind. His beloved beckons him to join her, arms open wide and a smile on her lips. She was saying something but her voice was not heard. He accepts her invitation and moved closer; as he is about to touch, she disappears into dandelion seeds scattered by the wind. 

***

“You dreamt of her again?” Dedue asked him. Dimitri looked up from his laptop screen to the silver haired man across his table and gave a shrug as a reply. “Yes.” He replied to his closest friend and ally curtly. 

Fate seemed to work in funny ways. He was born again at a different time, same with his beloved, and now Dedue found him. Dedue’s devotion and loyalty to him was unparalleled. It was probably a sign from the goddess that he still needed to be taken care of no matter what lifetime it was by his friend. Dedue seemed to somehow, someway remember the events of the past like him. Again, this was a mystery from the goddess on why he and Dedue could remember but Byleth in this lifetime could not remember anything at all. 

“Have you asked her anything that may help her remember?” Dedue quipped. “You still have her father’s ring.”

Dimitri paused from writing his thesis and looked at his friend and quirked his brow. “I don’t want to scare her, Dedue. If she doesn’t remember us, me, maybe someday she will.” The blond took the coffee cup next to him and took a long sip of his cappuccino before setting the cup back to its place.

“I apologize for not being able to protect Her Holiness, Your Majesty.” Dedue mused. “If only I was-”

“Dimitri.” The blond corrected. “Call me Dimitri, Dedue. I am no king, there’s no need for formalities.”

Dedue blinked and pursed his lips together, trying to figure out how to react in such a notion from his liege, or rather, friend now in this lifetime. The silver haired man looked at the coffee cup he was holding and gingerly wrapped a hand around it relishing the warmth. “I’ve told you,” Dimitri said. “your atonement was serving my son loyally as you did with me. You’ve fulfilled that, truly. Thank you for watching over Mikael and also for being his counsel.”

The Duscur man nodded as he looked outside the window of the coffee shop they were in. “It was all I could do after you and the Professor had—”

“So,” Dimitri interrupted, he knew what Dedue’s next words were. “Is your family’s restaurant doing ok?” 

Dedue blinked and gave an airy laugh, “Yes. The Duscur boar seems to be the favorite. Although, Fatima is looking for you constantly and asking me when will you visit again.” Dimitri blinked at the name, ah, Dedue’s little sister who had a crush on him (or so Dedue said). He gave a laugh to which his closest friend joined him.

“Soon, I guess. At least the tragedy didn’t happen in this life.” Dimitri replied as he looked out the window recalling the blood, smoke, and flames. Dedue nodded, “Indeed.” The Duscurian assented as he fixed his posture and copied Dimitri’s gaze. “Is she alright though?”

The blond grunted and sighed, “She’s well.” Dimitri mused. “She’s graduating soon. I fear that I’ll…” He recalled that day when he lost her all those years ago. When she fell into that chasm, when he descended into the abyss, Dimitri couldn’t shake that feeling of dread of losing her again. She was almost in his grasp but she wasn’t wholly herself; he wasn’t the one who could control her, it was her life… he can’t force himself into her life suddenly. 

“I’m sure the gods will find their way to lead you back together.” Dedue quipped. “They did before. Why not now? I shall pray for you both.” 

***

Byleth was at the mall looking what to wear for graduation; it is a big day and she was also invited to an after party that her friends insisted that she should go to. She couldn’t really find the perfect dress or shoes after hours and hours on end of figuring out the right one damning that there’s too much to choose from. After what looked like an eternity, she settled for a long, black tunic with a high collar. It was practical enough that she could wear it for another occasion.

Now for the hard part of getting gifts for her friends and one particular professor of hers. Byleth wasn’t really unsure why she had wanted to give Professor Blaiddyd a gift, maybe it could be some form of confession without the whole actual confessing part. Besides, she was awful at expressing her emotions and feelings; at least she wouldn’t feel the sting of rejection if her professor threw or gave away her gift. Scratch that. She would feel the sting.

She was in some shop that sold baubles and trinkets like expensive blankets with the words “I Woke Up Like This” and inspirational cards from famous people and whatnot. She got some candles and cards for her friends but it was her dear professor that posed a challenge. Byleth wasn’t really sure about what to get him, a coffee mug that said “College Student Tears” or “World’s Sexiest Professor” (okay, that one was maybe too direct). No, no… that’s out of the picture; she would love to see Professor Blaiddyd’s reaction though at the sight of the mug or he already had  _ hundreds  _ of those.

So what she should get for her beloved professor?

She scanned the store again and landed on the children’s section. A lion plush caught her eye and somehow reminded of that time when Professor Blaiddyd talked about Loog. The plush didn’t have something blue to tie in with the man of legend or for some odd reason, the plush also reminded of her professor—proud, dignified, and cute… that could work. Professor Blaiddyd also had an array of neckties in almost all shades of blue. Maybe Byleth could find a ribbon of some sort to tie around the plush’s neck as an homage that could make her professor smile despite the loneliness in his eyes. A voice in the back of her head to get it and so she did. She trusted her gut, hopefully it would work… she hoped.

Byleth took her gifts home and tried not to think about the possible outcomes of her gift. She stared at the lion plush, half thinking she should keep it as a reminder of him and half thinking she should give it away. The young woman deliberated and thought and thought on what to do like a certain yellow bear obsessed with honey. Steeling her thoughts and resolve, she decided to give the lion plush away—whatever the recipient does with it, it was out of her hands. Byleth scoured her room for a piece of blue ribbon that she neatly tied around the lion’s neck. She gave a soft poke on its snout and sighed. “I hope you can make him smile.”

***

Dimitri was neck deep with things to do now that the semester was going to close; he had tests to check, grades to be posted, and his own masteral thesis to finalize. He hunched himself on his desk, checking the test that he gave to his students and concentrated on his work. His office phone buzzed that made himself jerk out of his desk in surprise. “Hello,” Dimitri greeted on the receiver after he picked up the phone.

“Mister Blaiddyd, a student of yours would like to see you.” The receptionist mused.

The blond man rubbed the bridge of his nose and sighed, “I’m not available for office hours.” He replied ruefully. “I apologize.”

The receptionist conveyed his words to this student of his. He couldn’t really hear what the other person was saying but there was a bit of panic on their voice and he could’ve sworn he heard “it’ll be quick”; Dimitri was too nice and too welcoming, if this student of his said it’ll be quick they better keep their end of the bargain since he had deadlines to meet.

“Let them through.” He said. 

The receptionist told his message and he hung up then sighed as he tidied up his desk. There was a lot on his head and plate on the weeks to come; of course the obvious reason of posting his students’ grades so some of them could walk across the stage for graduation, keeping the end of his bargain to meet with his family back in Fhirdiad, and most importantly submitting his researchwork for his masteral thesis that he’s burning the midnight oil for. 

“Professor Blaiddyd.” A soft voice greeted that snapped him out of his stupor. He looked up to see a familiar green haired woman poking her head at his door frame. “Oh, Byleth.” Dimitri said stiffly. “What brings you here? I can’t talk about your grade currently.”

Byleth shook her head, “It’s not about that, sir.” She replied softly as she entered his office with hands behind her back. 

“What is it then?” He asked quizzically.

The woman revealed a gift bag that she hid behind her back. A faint blush colored her cheeks and her eyes averted his gaze. “For you.” She said as she gingerly gave the gift bag. Dimitri shyly took it from her and coughed, “What’s this for?”

“You’ve been kind to me, Professor. Almost too kind.” Byleth replied. “You forgave me for the mess up for that one paper that I accidentally wrote my name as Byleth Blaiddyd.” She added as her cheeks flushed into a deeper shade of crimson.

Dimitri stifled a laugh at the memory. Yes, he did remember the incident clear as day.  _ You were kind to me back then as well. I’m just returning the favor.  _ “Yes, I remember but mistakes happen, Miss Eisner.” The blond replied. “I don’t need a gift for that though.”

Byleth shook her head and sputtered out, “No. I insist!”

Of course, Dimitri can’t say no. “May I?” He said, gesturing to the gift. Byleth nodded and smiled to which he tried not to look amazed or breathless. He distracted himself, carefully taking the tissues and setting them aside. His eyes widened and pulled out a stuffed lion plush. “Oh, Byleth.” Dimitri said with a small grin on his face.

“I’m sorry.” Byleth blurted out. “It just reminded me of you.”

Dimitri’s eyes locked on the toy and as if he were back when he was whole, when she was whole, in their son’s room as Mikael played with the stuffed lion toy his mother made for him. He didn’t know why he suddenly pressed his head against the toy’s snout; it was a happy memory at least, no matter how the present deemed it painful.

“Are you alright, Professor.”

“Yes, I am.” He replied. “Thank you, Byleth. I shall treasure this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again dedue is like dorothea more of like a cameo appearance and sort of dimitri’s braincell like in game. i decided that he’s also reincarnated in this lifetime retaining his memories too. i also kind of wanted to have both dima and dedue’s “reincarnations” to have a sound life because they deserve it.
> 
> mikael is my headcanon name for dimileth son. ;w;


	4. Chapter 4

Byleth looked at herself one last time in the mirror; she assessed what she wore, how her makeup was, and if every strand of hair was in place. Everything had to be perfect today since it was a celebration, four long arduous years culminated by walking across the stage, a handshake, and a piece of paper that said “congrats, asshole. you made it. welcome to the real world.” She’s technically now a teaching professional for young children, the world’s her oyster now but somehow it was rather bittersweet. She had to eventually say goodbye to friends, colleagues, and professors. She worked hard to get where she was and where she wanted to be but it still saddened her to part ways. 

There was a pit of regret she did not tell Professor Blaiddyd about the real story behind the lion. Maybe she should’ve brought the cup because it was easier to dispose of. Maybe she shouldn't have given him anything in the first place.

She still dreams about that blond mystery man. Blond. Professor Blaiddyd was a blond. Could Dorothea’s tale be true? That they could be fated to be together? No. That’s too good of a joke. He would never fall for someone a plain person like her. Recently, she had a dream where it was raining and there was a tall figure with stark blond hair covering his face looking down at the muddy ground. He was wearing a suit of black armor and a great mantle covered his shoulder; Byleth wondered who he was and why did he look like he carried the world on his shoulders. She reached out to brush the fringes away from the figure’s face. “Your hands are warm,” A voice said. “Have they always been?” The words seemed familiar but as she was about to cup the figure’s cheeks she woke up with her heart heavy and her head in pain. 

“Kiddo!” Her father called out for her. “I’m sure you’re beautiful but we’re going to be late, sweetheart!”

  
  


***

Dimitri sat on the edge of his bed holding the gift that he had received a few days prior. His fingers brushed the toy tentatively and prayed that it wouldn’t break in his hand. Another dream visited him; it wasn’t really a dream more of like a memory that manifested as one. He remembered that night in that dream where he wanted to march to Enbarr on his own to confront Edelgard. The voices in his head were like a tempest, roaring and wailing for blood, especially after the events of Grondor where he almost had his vengeance but things took for the worst where Rodrigue had to die in his place. He welcomed death openly like it was his only friend in the world. He wanted to be freed from the living because he was a monster undeserving of love, loyalty, and friends. Rodrigue was a foolish man for sacrificing himself for him but the late lord Fraldarius’ words still echo in his head and oh how it burned his soul. “Live for what you believe in.” The dying man pleaded before his last breath. 

The memory of her trying to stop him played; her jade eyes filled with sad determination and her voice soft and gentle but was loud as thunder in his head. Their conversation went on, his voice filled with bile and bitterness but his beloved only gave him patience and gentleness like a spring breeze. How? How can she still be so gentle and kind with a wretched monster like him? How can she pour her love so much to someone undeserving as he?

He can still feel the sting of the cold rain against his skin. His bubbling confusion and anger inside still crashed like waves against a stormy sea. Yet, amidst his tempestuous thoughts and feelings; his beloved stood there unfazed and her gaze still soft and gentle. There was a rueful smile that painted her face that begged him to stay and not march to Enbarr to his death. How can he refuse her and grant her even more grief? Her hands reached for his cheeks, Dimitri remembered her warmth against his skin that he yearned for so long. His beloved was a gentle hearth, and he grew tired of wandering, she was his home. He was home in her arms.

In the dream, Dimitri leaned close to her palm as he closed his eye. He forgot about the cold sting of the rain, the voices in his head quelled by the gentleness of the silence between them, and he only focused on her soft skin and warmth. One of his hands held one of his beloved’s hands and he stayed there for a moment before the warmth disappeared and the cold sting of the rain came back. He cracked open his eye to see she wasn’t there and only an expanse of darkness surrounded him. He was alone again and the voices again began to roar in his head, his beloved’s voice drowned in a storm going on his mind. Dimitri let out a sorrowful cry in the dream before he woke up in a cold sweat and his heart ached again.

His thumb brushed against the fur of the toy, somehow her little gift gave him peace and something tangible to latch to because he cannot hold his beloved in this lifetime, at least not yet he hoped. If she couldn’t remember him in this lifetime, he would bear the pain again because he promised that he would love her no matter what. If in another lifetime she would remember him, he would welcome that but for right now he was still a stranger to his beloved despite his familiarity and fondness with her; he would carry the weight of the pain again and again—he would love her over and over whether she would remember him or not, he wanted to keep his word.

By some twist of fate or dumb luck, he was also graduating today. Hard work did pay off despite he traded off his social life for books and lived off coffee for sustenance. The thought of Byleth graduating as well with him was a coincidence too, so he had to say goodbye to her again but this time he could say his farewells and she wasn’t swallowed by some chasm thank the goddess. There is still that bittersweet possibility of he could see her again in the future; he gave out his personal number for his students to reach out attached to the syllabus and many did—Byleth sometimes but their meetings were very professional. He wondered now that she wasn’t his student and he wasn’t her professor anymore, maybe he could play the possibility of befriending and courting her again. 

Dimitri swallowed at the thought; he was never really good at expressing himself with words but he had to try. He was seventeen again, his thoughts preoccupied with the responsibilities of the future and his heart beats like a wardrum at the sight of her. Back then, he joked about maybe in the future there was a possibility that they could be together; the joke was on him, he did eventually married her and had a child despite what had happened. 

His cellphone rang that snapped him out of his musing.  _ Shit _ , he thought when he realized it was Sylvain calling.

“Sylvain.” Dimitri greeted flatly.

“For someone who’s graduating you sound glum? Your dream girl haunting you again?”

The blond choked and sputtered a reply, “No! Of course not!”

“Liar.”

Dimitri pressed his lips into a hard line. It was hard to confess that he’s been struggling to form words just like a lifetime ago. He was almost a man of thirty years can’t muster the courage to say how he felt; he was a teacher, a prince, a king—yet the hardest lecture and battle that he had to face of telling how he felt about a woman that he adored, admired, cherished, and loved. They were parting ways, again. He wasn’t sure where Byleth was going, in a way, he wanted to know but he did not want to delve into her personal business. He was a gentleman and respected one’s boundaries but he wanted, no, he needed to know. 

“Do you want to lose her again?” Sylvain asked.

Silence.

“Dimitri.”

Again. Silence.

“No.” The blond finally exhaled as he prepared himself for the ceremony.

“Then pick up your balls and tell her how you feel.” His friend practically scolded him. “You’re not the boyish prince long ago anymore. Goddess, Dimitri. Did you once again forget your promise?”

“I am a man of my word, Sylvain but this… this takes time. Look, I’ll talk about this after the ceremony when I go back to Fhirdiad. I’ll meet you guys after.”

***

Byleth looked around the auditorium entrance where a sea of students dressed in black gowns and graduation caps surrounded her. This was real. She was really graduating before pursuing her teaching career in a few months time. Her hands were balmy and she wanted to cry, and the ceremony hasn’t started yet! She can’t cry again, it’ll ruin her makeup. Her father already made her cry on the way because he had made a speech on how he was so proud of her and what she had accomplished despite struggling in a few areas; he also mentioned her mother was watching from above and he was certain that she was proud as well causing Byleth to sob uncontrollably in the car cursing her father that his words ruined her makeup and she has to redo it.

She hummed before pausing a familiar sight. Her eyes met a certain blond man that caused her to blush and her heart to swell. He looked rather handsome, when was he wasn’t handsome, despite almost dressed the same way as she was. He was holding a light blue stole on one hand and his other hand held his phone against his ear as he padded towards her. Byleth almost forgot how to breathe upon realizing they were in the same college department and graduating on the same day. 

“I’ll see you later, Father.” She heard the blond man speak. “I’m going in the auditorium now.” Professor Blaiddyd stood a few feet from her and his gaze focused on his phone screen. His family must be proud of him too; she thought of his late wife and wondered if she was also proud like her mother. A croak escaped her lips and the blond man took notice as he smiled in reply. Gods, why was his smile so gorgeous? Byleth thought.

“Professor Blaiddyd,” Byleth greeted. “I didn’t know you were graduating too.”

“I… well, I don’t really tell much about my personal life. I’m just glad I got here, I guess.” He replied as he walked with her inside.

“Congratulations.” She chirped as her heels clacked on the linolium floor. “You’re finished with your masters, yeah?”

He nodded, “I’ll be starting my doctorate in history soon. That’ll eat a lot of my time.”

“You’re a busy bee.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”

They stopped in the middle of a hallway where there was a sign that directed postgraduate students from the undergraduates. She looked at him sadly and she hoped this was not the last time she’ll ever see him. “You still have my number from class, yes?” Professor Blaiddyd mused as he scratched the back of his neck.

“I do.” She replied, heat creeping up her cheek fully realizing the fact they were not student-teacher anymore.

“I am not your professor now, Byleth, but a friend. Feel free to reach out for anything if you need help!”

She blinked. What could he mean by that? Byleth took a breath and smiled, “I will. It would rather be odd if I still call you Professor or Mister Blaiddyd though.” Byleth mused.

“Dimitri. You can call me Dimitri.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Certain colleges have both undergraduate and graduate students share a commencement day. 
> 
> Also graduate students have a color for their colleges, in the US its light blue for education graduates for both their stole and tassel.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ayyee I didn't expect to have this written out so soon but here you go. a bit of a warning there is a slight alcohol mention in this chapter, please drink responsibly. 
> 
> This chapter is defo inspired by [ So Close by Jon McLaughlin from Enchanted](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k2zz6Uh-K-g)
> 
> Again thanks to Miss Millennium for tolerating w/ me

Dimitri.

_ Dimitri. _

That name. Why does Dimitri Blaiddyd sound so familiar to her? Byleth laid in bed looking at her phone screen at the blank text message to be sent to Dimitri. Would it be too soon to text him? He was probably celebrating with his friends and family and she did not want to disturb him. She had her own very small affair just between her and her father; she wanted to get hot pot where her father happily obliged and cake. At home, her father opened a bottle of sweet, sparkling wine to toast her even if it was the two of them.

Byleth hovered her thumbs on the keys on the screen and she could feel the heat coursing to her cheeks. She chewed on her lower lip and her brain was going a million miles an hour formulating what to say on her text or if she should even text him. 

Her heart says yes to text the guy, her brain says no, her thumbs said yes.

> **Byleth:** Congratulations again, Professor! Best of luck on your doctorate! - Byleth Eisner

Oh, gods. What did she do? Why did she send that text?! She let out a frustrated groan and wanted the days where one could cancel a text before it was sent! She covered her head with a pillow hoping Dimitri wouldn’t reply. It was like high school all over again where you confessed to your crush through text. Except she was almost in her mid-twenties crushing on her former teacher. _ Fuck! _She thought.

Her phone buzzed and a text notification, another buzz, two text notifications from Dimitri Blaiddyd were on her screen. Byleth took a deep breath and braced herself with the replies.

> **Dimitri:** Thank you, Byleth. Congratulations too. I wish you the best for your future endeavors. I’m sure you’ll do great! :)
> 
> **Dimitri:** Like I said, if you need anything or someone to talk to, I’m all ears.

She let out an inhuman sound as she scanned her brain for a reply. How? Why is this man so charming and sweet?! Goddess! Does he even know he’s a charmer?! Her heart was ready to burst out of her chest as she read the replies over and over. Were those replies really for her? 

Was there another Byleth on his contacts that he mistook for her? Surely. Right? 

> **Byleth:** ∑(;°Д°)
> 
> **Dimitri:** Did I say something wrong?
> 
> **Byleth:** Shit!
> 
> **Byleth:** Sorry!
> 
> **Byleth:** No you didn’t!
> 
> **Byleth:** I’m just.
> 
> **Byleth:** Surprised.
> 
> **Dimitri:** What for?
> 
> **Byleth:** Your offer.
> 
> **Dimitri:** It still stands.

Byleth dropped her cell phone directly on her face after she read the last text. Her cheeks became even more flushed as she read it again. She did not want to assume Dimitri might have feelings for her, after all the man seemed to be still grief stricken from the loss of his wife. She didn’t want to play with the idea of being a rebound of a widower or she lead him on. Her heart beat loudly because, somehow this feeling was all too familiar. His name sounded so sweet like honey when it rolled from her lips. “Dimitri.” She mused. “Dimitri… Dimitri.”

“Why do you sound so familiar, yet still so strange?”

She assented to his offer and their text conversation went on about sweet nothings. He gave her advice about the certification exams, she took note of course, free unsolicited advice that could come handy. She told her about her dog and of course she sent pictures to boot that made him laugh (she thinks) from all the _ ha ha has _ Dimitri replied back to her.

Her heart broke when she told him he was going to Fhirdiad for a while to settle some matters there. She felt sad at the thought and her heart broke a little. It was for his doctorate, he will be staying there for a while for his research and he’d be focusing on publishing his dissertation there. Would it be selfish of her to beg him to stay? It would, wouldn’t it? He wasn’t hers to rein in but why at the thought of him going away hurt her so much and that all-too-familiar pain swelled in her chest.

All she could do was wish him the best to which he thanked her for. She did not send another text because looking at the phone screen and reading that he was leaving made her melancholy. Maybe she was a selfish woman after all. This was a momentous day but she did cry herself to sleep because she could never be his.

She slept after her tears had ran dry. Byleth dreams again of that field of flowers swaying under a star-filled sky. She expected the sequence again of a blond boy that turned to a young man in uniform to a man holding a child. It was a recurring dream that somewhat brought her peace but the mystery of this blond who turned into petals when she got closer.

In that dream, she noticed not a boy but a blond man standing with his back facing her. He was staring at the sky and stars oblivious of her presence. She stepped closer and closer but the man just stood there, quiet as a mouse still not minding her there. Byleth was a few feet from him where she took notice of a great furred mantel that was present in another dream but she took notice of another detail, a knight holding a lance while riding a gryphon was stitched with beautiful silver thread that shone like starlight and accentuated the blue cape that was billowing with the wind; it struck her, that was the coat of arms of the Blaiddyds, lord protectors and the royal family of the Kingdom of Faerghus— and…

The man turned, he didn’t disappear at all. His beautiful blond hair swayed with the gentle breeze and his lone, robin’s blue egg eye looked at her longingly and lovingly. His face was still handsome despite an eyepatch covering his right eye. He was dressed in a blue tunic with silver accents and a pair of riding pants and boots. The blond smiled at her and she recognized that face despite the small differences. 

“Dimitri?”

“Beloved. My beloved.” Dimitri said as he smiled. “How I’ve missed you.” The man mused sweetly, as he extended a hand to reach her.

Byleth took his hand gingerly and he pulled her in an embrace to warm she swore she would’ve melted as he pressed his nose against her hair and nuzzled. This… she didn’t want to leave or wake yet. She wanted to dream this again or never wanted to end.

“Please, beloved. Please remember me.” A pause. “Remember us.”

Remember? What does he mean…

The Dimitri in her dream cupped her cheeks as he brushed his thumbs against her apples. She couldn’t help but smile at this tender moment as a soft laugh escaped her lips. This Dimitri, this… dream or was it reality, she wasn’t sure any more leaned close to passionately kiss her. That sensation of butterflies in her stomach began to creep in and funnily enough she never had her first kiss in reality and she really never expected a kiss from the man of her dreams in a dream, was her first kiss… indirectly.

She wasn’t sure why she noticed but he tasted and smelled of chamomile. She dove into the kiss in reckless abandon and surrendered. This sensation, this feeling felt all too familiar. Byleth was drowning in this fever dream but she felt safe and warm against him as his lips crashed against her and all she could do was return his ministrations. Both of them stayed in place as their lips brushed against each other with languid tongue; Byleth swore she forgot how to breathe. She was so lost against his kiss and she never wanted to be found.

He broke the kiss causing her to whimper but Dimitri planted a chaste kiss against her brow, “Wake up, my love. I will be waiting.”

She woke up it was already mid-morning. Byleth’s cheeks were flushed red as she pressed her face against her pillow and let out a muffled scream. The young woman scrambled pinch herself to test she wasn’t dreaming anymore yet that dream, that kiss, felt so real. Byleth searched for her phone and hurriedly texted Dimitri, the real one and not the one from her dreams.

> **Byleth:** Can we meet? I need your advice. Please.

* * *

Dimitri came home after a celebratory dinner between him and his parents. It was a brief affair, Dimitri fully accepting his father’s busy schedule of leading one of Fódlan’s biggest investment firms, his graduation was more of a nuisance than of a celebration of his accomplishment. His mother, on the other hand, berated his father’s actions and of course the cycle of their arguments still somehow stem from something petty. They were alive because there was no plague or tragedy in this life. Yet, he clung to them and sometimes he could be a bit overbearing. He promised his folks that he would be back in Fhirdiad for a while to continue his doctorate studies there to his mother’s relief. 

After dinner and dropping off his parents at the airport, he went straight back to his apartment to slowly pack the things he needed to take to Faerghus. Dimitri made it to the kitchen and scrambled his pantry for a bottle of whisky, and poured some for himself to enjoy. The smoky and bitter liquid burned the back of his throat, it was a welcomed and familiar sensation, a terrible habit that he picked up over the years.

Dimitri poured another drink and took long, hard swig. He exhaled as he felt the sting of the bitter reality that Byleth still does not remember at all. Soon, he would leave her again to go back to Fhirdiad to study and finalize his doctorate; he wasn’t going to be locked up and tortured for a crime he did not commit, he wasn’t going to be lead to execution for regicide and patricide, he wouldn’t see his people suffering under the Empire and Cornelia’s heel—those days were long gone and only part of books nowadays but he remembered those days clear as a bell where he was a wild beast who craved for blood in the service of revenge until a warm, kind hand reached out to him and a gentle voice that silenced the demons in his head.

He took the bottle and glass to his room to take comfort in his solace. His gaze took notice of a white box perched on his study. Ah! Her gift. Dimitri forgot to give it to her because of his schedule. The blond padded towards the box as he settled the bottle and his drink next to it and carefully opening the lid as it revealed a beautiful blue rose brooch with some grey and white pearls studded in the middle and with a deep blue tassel accentuating it. Maybe it was a bit too much for a simple ‘thank you’ gift for that plush Byleth gave him. The memory of him leaving behind a box containing a brooch of the logo of the Blue Lions and a letter for her birthday during those innocent days in the Officer’s Academy. His heart swelled at the memory of her wearing that brooch daily to class and the fact she kept it even after the war had passed much to his surprise. _ It’s your first gift to me. _ His beloved said. _ Of course I kept it! _

His phone buzzed from an unknown number but much to his relief it was from Byleth. The conversation made him smile and he felt this was a step forward to know her again better despite how late in the game he was. He opened up to her slightly but that boyish sadness never really parted from him; he was still guarded and walls built up but slowly he would destroy them for her. She told him that she had dog to which he replied that he wanted one since he was a child but his mother was highly allergic to dog fur. Dimitri then began to tell Byleth that he was going to Fhirdiad for a while to start his doctorate there and that’s when her replies became sparse and there were pregnant pauses between texts which concerned him. He apologized and then proceeded to ignore his cell phone despite the group chat with Sylvain, Felix, and Ingrid flooding his screen with notifications.

He stared at the ring that snugged around his finger. Felix told him that it was something that made him stagnant, that didn’t let him move forward. The lie of he was once married holding him back because his beloved was here but he withdrew himself from the world again wearing a mask and he would just use his charm to distract conversations. Felix, as blunt as he was, was still an honest man who looked out for the best in his small circle of friends. Dimitri gingerly took off the ring and settled it next to the lion plush Byleth gave him. He felt naked and incomplete without it after wearing it for so long but if it was really the thing that held him back from moving forward. Without the ring, he still loved her and is still devoted to her. He kept and still keep his promise to her that he would still love her in every lifetime.

Realizing that Byleth hasn’t replied for a period of time, Dimitri took a shower and readied himself to bed. He had a long day of packing tomorrow so he could prepare which things he could give away and take back to his hometown. 

He dreamt again of that field of blue flowers under a star-filled sky. This place was real, it was a meadow outside the Kingdom capital where he and his beloved come to unwind after a long day of meetings and their respective duties to their people. He was alone in this dream but he would hear his beloved’s voice calling out to him but she was nowhere to be found. The wind billowed around him as some petals danced around him gracefully. 

Soft footfalls against the earth echoed around. Yes this was a dream, then he would hear his name in her voice and when he turned no one was there and the dream would end. Dimitri looked up at the stars and wished at every single one of them and prayed to bring his beloved back to him. So far, even in dreams, his prayers were left unanswered.

“Dimitri?” Ah. She calls for him again but the thought of her not being there still breaks his heart.

It took courage for him to turn to the direction of the voice. He braced himself for the disappointment but once he turned his lone eye was wide and his mouth agape. She, his beloved was standing there dressed in that familiar garb she wore. Her dark green hair swayed with the wind and her purple eyes were wide as the moon above them. 

“Beloved.” He greeted her as he held back a sob. “My beloved.” Dimitri smiled at her and reached out his hand to hold and he hopped she would assent to his request. She was so close but she still felt so far away. “How I’ve missed you.”

Byleth in this dream took his hand as she pulled him in an embrace. If it was only in dreams he would be close to her like this, then he prayed to the goddess that he would never wake up. He pressed his nose against her hair and took her scent in. She was warm, always so warm like the first rays of sunlight.

“Please, beloved.” Dimitri plead. “Please remember me. Remember us.”

Her eyes looked up and of course she looked beautiful as the moonlight gave her a halo and the stars shone in her eyes. His hands gently cupped her cheeks and his thumbs drew circles at her apples. Dimitri leaned close to draw their lips together and he caved in to his desires to lose himself in that kiss. He felt that time stopped at that moment; the world around them melted as he dove deeper to kiss her. She stayed there, her hands against his chest and she replied back with the same fervor and passion with each kiss she gave him. 

He opened his mouth, inviting her to conquer him, to break him even if it was a dream… it felt real. The way the tip of her tongue teased the roof of his mouth sent shivers down his spine and his walls crumbled. Gods. Now he wished he would never wake.

She broke the kiss to his dismay. Dimitri looked at her wanting to feel that sensation again but she stopped him as she cupped his cheek and gave him a tender smile. “Wake up, my heart. I’m waiting.”

He woke up at the sight of sunlight peeking through the blinds. Dimitri rubbed his face and pinched himself to pull himself together. That dream felt so real; his eyes looked at his palms. Did he really hold her? Was she really there? The empty space on the side of his bed confirmed that his beloved wasn’t there but the dream felt so real that he was there in the moment. The gods must be teasing him. They must be! 

His phone buzzed and realizing it was Byleth he hurriedly opened it to read her text. She wanted to meet with him so soon? He did not question what her intentions were and his fingers blazed on the keypad to form a reply.

> **Dimitri:** Yes, of course. Where and what time?

He didn’t expect a reply so soon.

> **Byleth:** There’s a cute tea shop by the edge of town. We can meet there! Today if its possible… I just need someone to talk to and you said to reach out if I needed anything. I need you.
> 
> **Byleth:** I mean I need your advice.

Dimitri reread her texts and blinked. She was direct and to the point as always.

> **Dimitri:** Sure. I’ll meet you there soon.

* * *

Byleth sat on that club chair impatiently waiting for her guest to arrive. She promptly texted Dimitri the address of the tea room she picked. It wasn’t those stuffy looking places where it looked like it came from another century and thankfully this tea room looked modern, new, and nice. She wanted to check on him on where he was. Why was she so worried? This wasn’t a date! She looked at what she wore, a bottle green colored dress with floral print dress and a pair of flats. Was this too simple? Would he like this on her? She kept the makeup minimal and natural, anything too loud would surely overwhelm them both.

Dimitri finally arrived after a few minutes dressed in a pulldown shirt with herringbone print, black skinny jeans and loafers. Byleth noticed his hair was down and wasn’t neatly tied back like she was used to seeing him. Still, Byleth thought he was rather handsome 

“Sorry if I took so long.” He said apologetically. “Got caught in traffic”

Byleth shook her head and replied, “I just got here too.”

The blond man smiled and shifted in his chair as he leaned back and his arms on the armrests. “So,” Dimitri drawled out. “what do you want to talk about?”

Byleth stiffened and her mouth ran dry at his question. She can’t really talk about that just yet. Why would you open with a conversation with:  _ Oh hey, I had a dream last night about a guy sorta looks like you so… help me? _

“Why don’t we look at what we should get first?” Byleth countered as she handed him another menu with a forced laugh.

Dimitri quizzically looked at her and blinked, “Sure?”

A waiter approached them asking for what they wanted. Byleth ordered a Lychee-Peach iced tea with honey and a matcha brick toast; Dimitri on the other hand ordered an iced Green Pear tea. The waiter scribbled down their order and said he would come back in a few with the drinks, and the brick toast later before walking to where the tea bar was.

“I’m surprised you didn’t order the chamomile!” Byleth exclaimed. “Isn’t that your favorite?”

Dimitri furrowed his brow and looked at Byleth with curiosity. He glanced at the menu quickly and noticed there was a mention of chamomile tea listed. “Yes.” The blond man replied. “It is my favorite but how did you know? I don’t recall telling you.”

Byleth froze. He never mentioned it? Damn that kiss!! Now she was in a hole that she never realized that she was trapped in; maybe she could still make a run for it from the embarrassment. “Lucky guess!!” She squeaked. Byleth paused for a moment to gather her thoughts so that they were coherent and not embarrassing. “What did you do after graduation?” 

Dimitri was rather concerned about how Byleth was reacting. Was she sick again or dodging why she set up a meeting with him? “Nothing really. My family took me out for dinner and some drinks.” He replied plainly. “What about you?”

“My dad took me for hot pot.” Byleth replied as she smiled softly.

“I’ve never tried hot pot.”

“You should!”

The waiter came back with their drinks and the brick toast that byleth ordered that he settled in the middle of the table the provided two spoons for them to share. “Byleth,” Dimitri said as he leaned closer. “I love pleasantries but I’m more concerned about why you ask me to be here?”

The jig was up and Byleth swallowed as she took a small sip of her drink. “How can I say this,” She began. “I… don’t know how to explain it without sounding crazy. But, Dimitri,”

“Do you believe in soulmates? I know it’s a stupid question since you’ve found yours despite she already passed. I’ve been… having the same dream over about the same guy. I told my dad about this but he said it’s only a dream but they feel so  _ real  _ recently.”

Dimitri blinked at her query and searched for an answer on the back of his mind. “You can say that. Fate can be a funny thing, maybe one day you’ll meet that guy in your dreams. Believe me, I’ve been there. You just need to be patient.”

“With your wife?”

“Yes.” 

Byleth looked at his hand and took notice of the ring not being there. “What happened to your ring?”

“I’ve lost it.” He lied between his teeth, hoping it would convince her.

The young woman frowned, “Shame it was a beautiful ring. I hope you find it soon!”

Dimitri smiled in reply, “I hope so as well.”

“So you’re going to Fhirdiad.” Byleth brought up glumly.

“Yes. I’m going to finish my doctorate there.” Dimitri mused. “What about you? Are you studying for the teaching certification classes?”

She nodded, “I still need to schedule a time to take it. Between work and reviewing, is hard to find breathing room sometimes.” Byleth looked around and pursed her lips. “Thank you for your time and advice, Dimitri. I’ll keep it to mind.”

“You’re welcome.” He replied. “Feel free to reach out to me when I’m away.”

The waiter came back with their cheque and before Byleth could take it Dimitri gave his card, and he said he would be right back with the gentleman’s card.

“I… I was the one who invited you. I should’ve paid.” Byleth protested. “I… we haven’t touched the brick toast too!”

Dimitri took the spoon as he dug through the ice cream and bread, “Well, you should’ve been faster.”

“Next time, I’m paying!” Byleth proclaimed.

“Oh? There’s a next time?” Dimitri jested.

A blush colored Byleth’s cheeks and her mouth tried to form words but all she made were sounds. “You get what I mean! If you visited back from Fhirdiad, let me know so I can treat you lunch or something!”

Dimitri laughed and in turn Byleth also laughed. “It’s a deal then.”

They parted ways after that and not too long after Dimitri went back to Faerghus to continue his studies.

He and Byleth texted each other daily in cordial conversations and pleasantries. It was almost routine for them to call to check on one another but eventually that stopped. Texts became sparse to nothing, both of them too overwhelmed with work or their own lives. Their budding friendship suddenly wilted before it bloomed.

Byleth dreamed again of a blond man but his face hazy and indistinguishable; Dimitri dreamed of his beloved fading when he reached for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOLY MOLY. SORRY FOR THE LONG CHAPTER...
> 
> TIME SKIP TIME


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the delayed chapter. i had a lot of things happen to me for the past month with work, personal and mental health issues, i had difficulty writing this chapter.
> 
> thank you, thank you for your patience and my wonderful support sisterhood of dimitri thirst central, you know who you are.
> 
> next chapter is the conclusion of this fic and i’m really excited to write it.

After all this time, Dimitri still  _ hated _ balls and dancing

He remembered all those years ago where his beloved Professor was wondering who would be the Blue Lions’ representative for the White Heron Moon dance competition between the houses. One by one, she talked to them over tea or as they discussed who’d be the one to take home the glory. Annette, Sylvain, and Mercedes were the most eager to represent, while the rest of them, including himself showed apprehension or disdain. He was one of the latter; Dimitri knew how to dance courtly waltzes for formal events at the Kingdom and cotillion balls. Eldelgard, his friend, sister, and foe, was his first teacher. She scrutinized him when he misstepped, when he held the hand of his partner wrong, and his posture. Luckily, Mercedes had the honor to be their representative and the winner. He breathed easy but he did envy Mercedes when she had to hold the professor’s hand, to be so close when she taught the right steps, to hear the sound of the peal of her laughter and see a toothy smile.

He regretted to muster his courage to step up to the plate.

Another of his regrets was not asking her—again—to dance during the actual Heron Moon Ball. Claude had that honor; his friend had more courage and gusto than he had. He watched with envy as the Golden Deer leader waltzed around the dance floor with grace and sophistication that everyone was enthralled with gasps and awe. There was this anger boiling and burning his soul; she was his, she chose his class, she was his friend and somewhat confidant but why does fear prevent him from telling the truth when he had that boyish crush back then. 

The voices roared and screamed inside his head; he remembered his purpose of being there. “You are undeserving of love, you beast. Use her, you wretched child then snap her throat. No one loves you. No one would love you.” 

He remembered that joke he made in the Goddess Tower. My what a fool he was when he uttered those words. The look on her face burned him and she never showed disappointment towards him. He was a beast undeserving of love but did he hope that she would love him? Absolutely. 

He was drowning in the service of revenge after that. He distanced himself towards her despite her reaching. Then what happened to Remiere, her ascension to godhood, and  _ Edelgard… _

Those five years without her, Dimitri continue to drown. The voices inside his head became arms that dragged him down to the abyss and sooner or later—despite her coming back—he let himself continue to fall deeper and deeper.

Until he felt her warmth against his cheek under the pouring rain where his walls crumbled and the voices in his head quelled and their grip forgotten. He was thankful for her that she embraced his brokenness; while he admitted he could never be whole again but with her by his side, he felt complete in some odd way.

This place, this ballroom inside the palace; right, this was his home with her long ago. Now it’s some museum that carried his and his progenies legacies with artifacts and paintings. This place, his long forgotten home, where he was once set to be executed, where he ran from to pursue his vengeance as an angel of death, where he won it back with her by his side, where she became his wife and queen, where she gave birth to their son…

...where her body rests when he carried her home.

Dimitri drank that glass of whisky that he held. The burn and bitterness coated his throat. He was never for social pleasantries despite he was a king in a previous life. There was life back again in the castle as a holiday ball for the employees and their families of his father’s company in this lifetime. He often sat by the bar, drinking his sorrows away but the bottle was never deep enough to drown him completely.

“Ah! Dimitri, my boy!” A voice calls out to him. “There you are!”

He turned to the direction of where the voice came from. His father was padding towards his direction and all Dimitri could do was finish his drink before wiping the corners of lips with a napkin.

“I’ve been looking all over for you, son.” His father mused. 

“What seems to be the matter, Dad?” Dimitri countered casually as he rose from the stool.

“I recently hired someone, she said she was one of your students back then!” His father replied with a laugh. “She always asks if you were okay, I told her you were busy travelling about for your research but… ah, Miss Eisner, there you are, my darling girl.”

Dimitri’s eyes widen as she saw her again. She—her—Byleth was here beautiful as ever and the five years they haven’t seen each other was kind to her. Very kind. Her hair was different, a very pale jade green color, much like back when she was given the power of the goddess. His breath hitched as he felt heat creep against his cheeks and his heart was ready to burst from his chest. 

“I’ll leave you two be to catch up.” Yes. Please. Thank you, Father. He was too busy staring at her like a deer caught in the headlights to notice his father already left them at their own devices. 

“It’s been a while, Professor Blaiddyd.”

“It has been, Miss Eisner… but please, call me Dimitri.”

“Then I would ask you could call me Byleth too.”

They both laughed at the notion as if they were acquainted again. He fetched the bartender to order drinks for the both of them, gods, he needed a drink right now. “An old fashioned on the rocks for me,” Dimitri told the bartender. “And for the lady…”

“A bramble, please.” Byleth chided.

“Alright. I’ll be back shortly with your drinks.” The bartender chirped before she whisked herself away.

“You look nice.” Byleth mused shyly.

Dimitri blinked. He looked down to appraise himself seeing that he was wearing a blue, bespoke suit and brown oxfords for the occasion compared to her— she looked stunning in that blue dress of hers with faint designs of constellations. The stiletto heels she wore made her look taller and confident, the makeup that accentuated her features was simple enough not to mar her beauty…

“You look beautiful.”

He saw Byleth blinked in stunned silence but before Dimitri could utter another word the bartender came back with their drinks. “A bramble for the lady, and an old fashioned for you, Mister Blaiddyd.” The other woman mused sweetly. “Would you like them to be on separate cheques?”

“Y—”

“No. You can keep both in my well,” Dimitri interrupted.

“Shall I keep it open for now?”

Dimitri nodded and the bartender gave a small smile before moving on to her next set of guests. “Thank you.” Byleth mused shyly as she toyed with her drink before taking a sip.

“Anytime.”

There was an awkward silence and tension between them. They have not seen each other for five years and have not talked in about two or so; his heart did yearn for her for that time and it was a relief to see her again.

“How did you come by to work here in Fhirdiad?” He asked her.

Byleth blinked, “Ah. I found out quickly teaching wasn’t for me so I went back to school for business.” She told him as her cheeks colored red. “Long story short, I applied everywhere—and landed here. I wasn’t expecting to be hired in your father’s company but I think it was a blessing from the goddess.”

Dimitri pursed his lips together and smiled, “I think it was a blessing.” He could hear the string quartet play a familiar song, a slow and soft melody that made him remember their first dance as man and wife. She would not remember it but he does, oh how he does…

“Byleth, would you like to dance?”

“Me? You? Dance?” She sputtered. “Why?”

He took her hand gently and rubbed small circles against skin with his thumb. “A promise long overdue.” Dimitri said softly like a prayer.

“I can’t dance, Dimitri!” She protested.

He offered his arm for her to take, “Then follow my lead. I won’t let you falter. I promise.”

How could she refuse? Byleth assented his request as she wrapped her arm around his. She hoped that her makeup would cover the color of her cheeks since she never expected this. Her heart was racing and eyes were fixated on them. The heir, the son of her boss leading her to the dance floor and they just met again. It was almost a fairytale: Dimitri was Prince Charming, and she hoped to be Cinderella. Would she get that happy ending, her happily ever after? Does he know that she yearned for him? Does she know she thought about him but her courage failed her to reach? 

She hoped that when the clock struck midnight that this wasn’t some dream, that her dress wouldn’t turn into tatters; she hoped that his was real. She wanted to tell him: I love you. After all this time, I love you, still.

The dance floor was crowded as the dancers surrounded them. Dimitri held Byleth’s waist with one hand and her hand with his other; Byleth returned the gesture by holding his shoulder and the hand that Dimitri held, she let her fingers entwine with his. Dimitri blushed at her gesture as he began to lead her around to a slow waltz. Byleth trusted him and she was surprised that her former professor knew how to dance. She noticed that there was sadness gleaming in his eyes, a sadness she really never put to mind. 

Byleth could drown in those blue eyes of his, like a vast ocean with waves ebbing and flowing, she also saw loneliness… longing.

Her heart ached remembering his story about his late wife.

How long has he been lonely? How long has his heart bled?

The music swelled as he continued to lead her. The world spun around them and everyone faded. The quartet, the lights, the glow of evening was for them—Byleth felt they were the only ones dancing. Deep inside, she felt… she felt this happened before.

This place. This setting. To her was strange yet it felt familiar.

As they continued to dance, Byleth felt she was flying and felt like she was in a cloud. Dimitri lead her on and on around the dancefloor while the music reached its crescendo. Her world continued to spin as her head and heart ached. Bits and pieces of far off memories, long forgotten began to play in her mind.

Suddenly, she was transported to this very ballroom; when? She did not know. The room was surrounded by flush pink and white flowers with white drapes flung high above the ceiling. Was she still in Fhirdiad? Was this another fever dream?

“Beloved.” A familiar voice cooed.

Byleth turned to the direction of the voice to see Dimitri but this Dimtri had one eye. This Dimitri reached for her cheek and brushed it gently with gloved hand. “My darling.” He said. “My wife.”

My wife?

“I shall love you always.”

Her head throbbed and she was sure it wasn’t the alcohol or the dancing. The music stopped and so did their dance, Byleth woke up from her brooding. She was back in the ballroom and Dimitri... _ Dimitri _ still held her but worry painted his face. She gently broke from his frame and stepped back, praying she wouldn’t fall since she wasn’t used to wearing heels. “I’m sorry.” Byleth murmured.

“Will you walk with me?” She invited him. “I need air.”

Dimitri’s mouth went agape and his eyes wide. “I would love to!” He replied. “I… I would love to accompany you.”

The pair went back to the bar and took their drinks after Dimitri paid for his tab. “I still owe you for paying my drinks back then.” Byleth said. “I think now you’re just toying with me.”

“I’m surprised you remembered.” Dimitri replied as he signed off the tab. “There’s always a next time, Byleth.”

He cocked his head towards the doorway of the ballroom and she followed along with him as he started walking towards the exit. She looked around as their footsteps echoed around the hallway. “I think you’ve discussed some of the paintings during your class.” Byleth recalled as she tried to warm herself by rubbing her arm.

“I have.” Dimitri replied coolly, as he halted his steps. “Wait.” Byleth followed the command as she watched him settle down his drink on a nearby bench to take off his suit jacket and draped it over her shoulder. “That should guard you against the cold.”

The young woman was surprised by the action and her brain was going ten places at once when she realized that he was wearing a white fitted dress shirt with a deep blue tie. The suit jacket was gone and now it rests on her shoulders. His cologne was soft and sweet with notes of rum and tobacco leaves; when Dimitri wasn’t looking she pressed her nose against the collar area where the scent permeated. She closed her eyes and tried to memorize what he smelled like and let her lungs relish the scent. 

“Are you alright?” Dimitri mused with a worried tone.

Byleth gave out a soft mewl before her gaze fixated on Dimitri’s. She still has the collar close to her nose and she felt her cheeks burned from embarrassment. “I,” She sputtered as she swallowed. “I am.”

The blond man blinked and formed his lips to a line. “You are a strange girl, Byleth.” He snorted. “Sniffing other people’s clothes like that.”

“I can’t say that I’m not.” She replied, her mind was still in a haze because of his cologne. “Dimitri,” Byleth mused. “What about you? Are you alright?”

The question surprised him. Dimitri searched for an answer inside his head but to no avail. He remembered that time, when she found him after being gone for five years full of anger and spite, soaked in the blood of imperial soldiers, lost and broken. Her soft voice telling him that she was glad to see him alive and well.

What did he do? Push her away.

He did not want to do that. Not now. Not ever.

“I am.” Dimitri replied ruefully. “Just extremely busy since this museum wanted me to become a curator after I finish my doctorate.” He added with a weak smile. 

“Oh!” Byleth exclaimed as she beamed a smile. “That’s wonderful news!”

Dimitri gave out an airy laugh as a response. “I guess it is?” He mused. “I’m excited about it. I haven’t told anyone, even my parents.”

“Your secret is safe with me!” Byleth chirped as she made a gesture sealing her lips.

“Thank you.”

They continued to catch up as they walked down the halls. Byleth would ask things about certain items or paintings, and Dimitri would comply explaining to her the background with fervor. She listened intently to his words and clung to it, most of the time she tuned out and wasn’t really interested about the object but her focus was on Dimitri and his voice. 

She noticed a small room with one painting and she halted her steps. Byleth’s focus was on the picture on the wall protected by plexiglass. She couldn’t find the words to say but stood there just to admire the photo. The painting was of a blond man standing in regal attire just like the man in her dreams, beside him was a woman dressed in white with a blue accents sitting on a chair. Her jade green hair was adorned by a tiara encrusted with jewels and white lilies.

“This is…,” She whispered.

“Ah,” Dimitri’s voice interrupted her brooding. “you’ve found my favorite place.”

Byleth turned to him but her eyes followed Dimitri as he stood by her. She noticed his gaze was fixated on the woman and that same longing in his eyes was there again. “The Savior King and his beloved wife.” He drawled out as he took a sip of his drink. “A gift from their friend Ignatz Victor after their wedding.”

Her eyes looked at the painting and back to the man beside her. Byleth’s head throbbed again like she was being pounded by hammers.“Why is this your favorite?” She asked.

“It’s the only way I could see her.” Dimitri replied longingly, his gaze still focused on the woman.

“Her?”

“My beloved,” Dimitri croaked softly. “My… wi—”

Byleth felt lightheaded and her world spun. Flashes of memories that aren’t hers but felt like hers raced through her head. A school, children, a goddess, yellow — bright and vibrant, red — passionate and ambition, blue — loyalty and true, a war, a chasm...

A hand to hold. A promise.

She felt cool air surround her, the scent of blood and ichor filled her lungs.

The glass that she held shattered on the marble floor.

Someone caught her as she fell. Oh. She feels so cold. The scent of Dimitri’s cologne fades.

“...By”

Who?

“Leth…”

The world turns black around her as she felt the stinging sleet of snow against her skin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please drink responsibly!
> 
> drinks i mentioned in this fic:   
byleth’s drink is a bramble, it’s a gin based drink with blackberry liqueur that’s pretty tasty and fruity.
> 
> dima’s drink is the classic [old fashioned](%E2%80%9C).


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, finally after 85 years an update.
> 
> I’m really sorry if I have been MIA. A lot has happened in the past few months between work and the current situation with the pandemic. I hope everyone is safe and sound, and please stay home.
> 
> I’m sorry if this chapter isn’t as good. I plan to rewrite some of the earlier chapters now that I have time to write while I’m waiting to be called back to work. I may post some drabbles here and there eventually.
> 
> To my squad, MissMilennium, TacticianGirl, Kelpy, and Chi... thank you for the support. To my readers who are patient, gave comments and kudos... I appreciate you.

Byleth was not sure what happened; all she knew she was walking side by side with her former professor, they were chatting, had drinks…

… Professor Blaiddyd was not like that. Surely.

The sting of fresh snow pricked her skin and the scent of blood filled her nose. She could feel a warm hand against her midsection, she could hear sobs.

“Byleth…,” A voice cried out. “Byleth stay with me!”

The sunset was rather beautiful above her despite the haziness of the gray clouds. She gingerly held out her arm and it was just covered with her own ichor. She… she was the goddess. Sothis fused with her, she recalls… vaguely. Goddesses do bleed despite the legends—gods do die, eventually. Byleth looked up and Dimitri’s crestfallen face looked down on her with grief. Tears forming and falling from that beautiful eye of his. His sobs were loud and clear and his chest heaved heavily from breathing. Her hand weakly cupped his cheek and gazed again at his eye before slipping into the darkness.

She felt like she was falling, swimming in the inky void surrounding her.

“You are reckless as ever.” A childish voice quipped. 

Byleth opened her eyes and saw lights colored like fireflies floated around her. Was she dead? She thought she was dead because the scene with Dimitri…

Dimitri. Her mind raced as she looked around frantically. “Where…?”

“Are you?” The voice finished her query. “You are here again. Just like the first time we met long ago.”

Byleth blinked, “I haven’t met you! I don’t even know what you look like!”

“But you do. You just don’t remember.” The voice replied sadly. “You don’t remember anything but he does.”

“Who…?”

“He has been looking for you. Can’t you hear his cries? His heart bleeds for a thousand lifetimes searching for you.” The voice spoke. “He kept his promise. To find you. To love you. Yet here you are… lost. Fate has already brought you together but you still chose to be blind. You asked this of me. You wanted to meet him again. He has been waiting for you.”

Byleth looked around her and her heart ached. “Who do you mean?” She asked the void.

“You were his teacher, confidant, friend.” The voice trailed. “You took him out of his despair and bloodlust. You helped him to take his birthright and crown him as king that unified a war torn land. You were his wife, his…”

“Beloved.” Byleth finished without missing a beat. “Dimitri called me beloved.”

Tears started to fall from the corner of her eyes and the memories from before came crashing down on her like a deluge. Her sobs echoed in that void and she felt her heartache swell in her chest. How long did Dimitri wait for her to remember him? The ring he wore back when they were still in university was the same ring she gave him on that fateful night after the war. 

She was the wife he was talking about, wasn’t she? He had really never moved on from his grief for gods knows how long. 

“Am I…?”

“Dead? No.” The voice replied. “You are just dreaming again.”

“Will I remember?”

“You will.”

Byleth gave a sigh of relief and just thought about what she should do if she woke up and met Dimitri. She does not want to impose on him but— the voice said that he was waiting for her. She doesn’t want to lose him. Her heart waited for so long.

“What should I do?” Byleth asked.

“Wake up.” Replied the voice.

The moment he saw her fall her heart sank. 

It was just like the time when she fused with Sothis for the first time in the forest outside of Garreg Mach.

It was just like the time when she was swallowed by the chasm; that time when his life turned bleak and dark because her light was not around to guide him.

It was just like the time she died in his arms all those lifetimes ago. A memory Dimitri did not want to recall but that moment ate him forever.

“Byleth!” Dimitri yelled as his voice echoed throughout the halls.

He looked down on her and noticed her chest was still breathing which eased him but there was still a pit of despair swimming in his stomach that she would not stir. She looked peaceful in his arms just like bygone days when they would spend springs and summers picnicking, hunting, or having a long horse ride together as husband and wife. What would he trade to have those moments back with her now? 

Dimitri immediately called the paramedics to help him out with his situation. His father was barking questions when he saw the stretcher and the EMTs push Byleth’s unconscious body through the halls. Murmurs of guests buzzed along but to Dimitri, they were just white noise. When Lambert yanked Dimitri and demanded to answer him on what was going on, the younger blond man just shoved and gave a rueful look to his father and followed the medical staff to the ambulance. Not once he looked back to check on his father’s reaction and he did not regret his action just to be by her side.

He spent lifetimes trying to find her, yet here she was, unable to remember him but Dimitri still clung to hope that he would remember him. He prayed, oh he prayed to the goddess above to grant his wish no matter how selfish it sounded. 

The hospital staff ran tests with her: bloodwork, MRIs, CT scans, but Byleth still would not wake. Dimitri was pacing back and forth with worry and the thought of losing her again would end him. 

The doctors told him that they could not find anything wrong with her and she seemed very normal despite passing out suddenly. They said that they would want to keep her for a few more days or wait until she is conscious to verify things with her. Dimitri agreed and told the staff he would pay for her medical bills so she would not worry too much. 

Dimitri was sitting by Byleth’s side when a knock was heard from the door. The door creaked open and a nurse came by to check up on them. Her sandy blonde hair was cut short and she was wearing dark blue scrubs from head to toe. “Oh, Mister Blaiddyd. I’m sorry, did I wake you?” The nurse said apologetically.

“No. I’m still quite awake.” He replied. 

“I came by to say that we couldn’t really put your card on file since the tests are not yet finished with Miss Eisner.” The nurse mused. “We do apologize about that.”

Dimitri’s lips formed an “o” shape and looked back at Byleth’s sleeping body. She was surrounded by medical machines and IV drips, it broke his heart at the sight but he had a gut feeling that she would be alright. Byleth, no matter what lifetime it was, was always and will be a resilient woman. “I guess. You can phone me if she is conscious, yes? Or can I stay here until she wakes up?”

The nurse blinked, “I know you can stay overnight. We might do some temperature checks to see if you’re not contagious or not.” She said. “The sofa right there can turn into a bed, I’ll be glad to show how you can set it up and I’ll be happy also to show you where the pillows and blankets are too. If you do need more, please don’t hesitate to call us. And we do have some pajamas too, if you do need to change into something more comfortable.”

He and the nurse began to try to set up the sofa bed and there was a deafening silence between them. “I don’t mean to pry, Mister Blaiddyd.” The nurse mused. “But who is she to you? The way you care for her is--amazing and sweet.” Dimitri paused from fluffing the pillow and pursed his lips. The nurse took a few steps back and said, “You do not have to answer! I was just… curious.”

“She’s someone special to me.” Dimitri smiled and noticed the name on the nurse’s tag that said  _ Mercedes.  _ He smiled at the memory and gave out a soft laugh. “Is there something a matter, Mister Blaiddyd?” The woman asked.

“No. No. I’m sorry,” Dimitri mused. “You just reminded me of someone I knew.”

“Ah,” Mercedes replied. “I guess that is a good thing. Well, take care, Mister Blaiddyd. I hope you have a good night.”

“You as well.” Dimitri replied.

The other woman left the room and Dimitri sat on the chair by Byleth’s bedside. He gingerly grasped her hand and rubbed small circles against her skin before he raised it to kiss her knuckles. 

He stayed like that for god knows how long, waiting for her to wake up. The beeping of the EKG machine and the whirring of the air conditioner were the only sounds that echoed in the room. Dimitri didn’t want to sleep; he had moments long ago where he was only motivated by revenge where he barely ate or slept because of his insatiable desire to satisfy the voices in his head. Now, there were no voices, no war but his guilt of not being able to save her still haunted him. Byleth was here in front of him, human and whole but she could not recall. 

Was this woman really an incarnation of her? To mock him for his ineptitude to save her long ago? 

His heart still beats for her no matter what; maybe after she wakes up, he could make peace with himself that he could move forward. “I love you,” Dimitri whispered. “even if you don’t remember me. I love, love,  _ love _ you, my beloved.”

He kissed her knuckles again and clutched it tight as he sat in place before falling asleep by her side.

Byleth blearily wakes up. The memories from long before suddenly made sense, the dreams of a blond man all those years… the man was Dimitri. Her dreams were fragments of him and guiding her back to him. Fate was tying them back together, and here she was.

The last thing she saw was that painting of her and Dimitri back in the museum, and there was a party. She had a drink and she and Dimitri chatted the night away. The woman realized that she was in the hospital, but who took her here? She propped herself up and saw Dimitri sleeping soundly beside her. 

Of course. Gentle and gallant Dimitri never changed or faltered.

Byleth smiled and carded her fingers against his soft locks. Her fingers traced the corners of his face, a habit of hers she practiced every morning. 

“You’re awake.” Dimitri sleepily said as he leveled himself to her gaze.

“I am.” Byleth replied. “Thank you for taking care of me.”

“Of course.” Dimitri replied. He realized that he had slept beside her and a rush of blood shot up to his cheeks. “I’m… I’m sorry. I didn’t realize—”

“You were worried for me, darling heart.” Byleth replied sweetly. “I appreciate what you did for me.”

Dimitri’s eyes shot open. That nickname, that was the nickname Byleth gave him. Her own personal endearment in her letters and when they were in private. Could it be possible?

“Be—Byleth…”

“No,” She interrupted. “Call me by the name you gave me. I want… I want to hear it again.”

“Beloved.” Dimitri breathed.

Byleth smiled at him and he couldn’t help himself to smile back. “I’m sorry, Dimitri.” Byleth sputtered. “I’m sorry to make you wait…”

“...I’m a patient man, beloved.” He said as he rubbed circles against her palm. “I would have waited for you for a thousand lifetimes and just to see you smile again.”

Byleth stifled a sob, “If only our reunion was in a more romantic setting. A hospital room isn’t the best place for a love confession.”

He couldn’t help but laugh at her sentiment and Dimitri shook his head. “So it is.” The blond man agreed and both of them laughed. The sound of her laughter made his heart swell. “Let me get the nurse and let them know you are awake.”

“No. Tell them later.” Byleth interjected as she held his hand. “I want to catch up.”

“That could take a while.” Dimitri mused.

Byleth smiled brightly and said, “And maybe we, us, could start over.”

“I would love nothing more.” He replied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe a sequel drabble in the works... (´ω｀★)


End file.
